Conversations with monsters

Dealing with your emotions and having a vocabulary for what is bothering you is difficult at any age but particularly hard for pre-schoolers. Lately we have been running into the limitations of Primo’s emotional vocabulary when he gets frustrated and doesn’t know what to do with it. His four year old frustration is coming out in a high pitched scream repeated about four times. I’ve seen this around bed time, when saying no to the request for candy, or when needing to discipline him for something else. I know there are feelings and frustrations bubbling around in there that he has no idea how to communicate or deal with and both Beautiful and I try to be firm but patient. The screaming is not OK, but we understand. As I’m sure most parents can relate there is a limit to that patience and that scream feels like a punch to my face. I have lost my patience a couple of times this week with Primo. Yelled back at him, scaring him out of his own screaming with mine. I have written about this before and this is not a woe is me type of thing, but I feel terrible immediately. I feel like a monster that has just scared the kids. They are resilient and tough and bounce back, these are opportunities to apologize and be humble. To model contrition and teach the boys that we all get frustrated and make mistakes and it’s not OK to scream for them, and it’s not OK to scream for me.

  6 comments for “Conversations with monsters

  1. 11/29/2010 at 12:24 pm

    Whoa! Did you update your layout?? Looks great!

    Yeah, we’ve been through the screaming thing. I don’t know why, but boys seem to scream more loudly and more often than girls. Maybe they get more frustrated because their communication skills aren’t quite there yet? Out of 4 children, the Boy screamed the loudest!

    Personally, I think it’s OK to break the cycle with a little feedback on your part. Or earmuffs. 😉

    Portlanddad Reply:

    Thanks, I haven’t changed the layout in a while but I’m glad you like it.

  2. 11/29/2010 at 2:35 pm

    It happens with Lukas particularly when he gets tired. I am pretty mellow so rearely yell back, but it has happened a couple of times and I take it in stride. I give myself a pass as long as I am not physically or emotionally hurting him.
    Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog post ..The End is Nigh

  3. 11/30/2010 at 10:21 am

    It’s so hard and I can relate to this for sure as my little Tessa, darling that she is, is also a screamer. Don’t beat yourself up man. When you spend as much time w/ them as you do, this is bound to happen. Maybe I’m saying this more for my benefit than yours 😉
    Chris´s last blog post ..What I’m Thankful For

  4. me
    12/01/2010 at 11:59 am

    makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

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