Sometimes the answer is no

After a gusty storm blew threw the neighborhood the bamboo fence peeled away from the house next door revealing a ridable fire truck. When we headed out of the house to go to school the boys both saw the toy and ran to the fence asking if they could ride on it before school. Our next door neighbors are friendly enough when we see them outside but their kids are never out side and have yet to play with our boys. They hurry them inside when they come back from school so it doesn’t look promising that the boys will be responding to any fires. I asked anyway, knowing that they were unlikely to let us play with it, and they said it was broken. We have a broken Gator that I push the boys in so that doesn’t deter them in the slightest.

Lately I have been trying to watch my “No’s” with the boys. What I mean is I have been trying to evaluate why I am saying no to something and trying to find a way to say yes more often. There are times when the answer is no and Primo now even says to Segundo “Sometimes the answer is no Segundo, and that’s OK.” That is something I say a lot to the kids, but in evaluating why I have found that most of the time it has more to do with my own comfort or mood and less to do with safety or some grand teachable moment. I think I have the mistaken idea that I am spoiling the boys or contributing to a overly permissive society but really I say No more than is necessary for selfish reasons.

Unfortunately no matter how much I try not to say No to the firetruck I have no choice. It is not our toy and sometimes the answer is no and that is OK too.

  5 comments for “Sometimes the answer is no

  1. 12/09/2010 at 12:01 pm

    Oh, goodness, that photo is so sad. I can remember wanting nothing on earth more than my neighbor’s Barbie Jeep Power Wheels, but I was pretty much born too tall to happily fit in one. Oh, the flashbacks.
    Allison Jones´s last blog post ..Portland Photo of the Day- Birthday Morning Walk in Wilshire Park

    Jamie Reply:

    I agree this picture is so very sad. Especially knowing Primo as well as I do.

  2. 12/09/2010 at 12:13 pm

    Great post. I try to explain my ‘noes’ to my girls, with varying success, but I’m guilty of saying it too often, too.
    goodfather´s last blog post ..What would MacGyver do

  3. 12/09/2010 at 2:14 pm

    I am totally with you on this. For some reason my automatic response so much of the time is to say no. And, like you, it has a lot to do with my mood or comfort with what they are asking to do. I’ve gotten better at this, but it definitely takes time. Especially since they ask to do something every second I am with them or so it seems. Good post!
    WillBinMN´s last blog post ..WillBinMN- Every night is Friday night without you Old97s

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