I think the morning might have been doomed from the minute I missed the turn for Highway 26 and that sneaking suspicion that the exit we needed was now in the rear view. Merging onto I-5 there isn’t another exit for a couple of miles and at 8:30 in the morning everyone is on their way into the city while we are mistakeningly heading out. Through a series of terrible turns due to traffic, fog, and ignorance I ended up right back on I-5 heading south, missing my turn again. We had plenty of time so I wasn’t worried about being late but this wrong turn silliness was increasing “the likelihood of a swear” meter to the point where is was now blinking. I made it to the park where the Pre-school field trip was being held but no one was there. It was still before 9 so I thought I was a little early but should still see some other cars. We went inside and found out the outing starts at 10 not 9 and I just laughed. Of course it does.
The field trip today was at Oaks Park Amusement Park where we would be roller skating. Both boys were excited about strapping wheels to their feet and hurling around the rink but I was less than enthused. I am no good on skates, be they roller or ice. I’ve tried many times but it always ends badly for me while my friends and family wet themselves from laughing. I think this is a stupid activity and I can’t help thinking that as I get the right size ass bruisers, I mean shoes, for the boys. I got them laced up and they did a fair job scooting on the carpet but both wanted to go out on the polished wood floor and give it a go. Segundo got out there and stayed up but Primo was flailing around and crashing every 3 inches and getting more and more manic in his cries for daddy. I couldn’t hold both boys up without pulling one of their arms out of the socket so I left Segundo standing there and brought Primo to the side. He was now screaming and slipping and arching his back and generally losing his shit while some polka tune played us off. I tried to sit him on the bench but he was throwing such a fit that he would launch himself off the seat and on to his skates and then violently on to the floor. I had to pick him all the way up to my face and tell him to calm down and sit on his bottom so I could take these skates off.
I got Primo calmed down and his skates off and then went back out to Segundo who was still standing where I left him just watching people skate by. He seemed to have the balance but I later found out that his wheels were just tighter and didn’t roll out from under him as quickly as Primo’s did. I don’t know anything about skating or how to teach the boys what to do to stay up or move or not crack their head open and bleed out on this beautiful wood floor that would be much better utilized as a basketball court. I knew that I should be doing more to encourage, to help them work through this initial fear and break through. I should have been teaching them that things like skating are hard but you don’t give up just because something is hard. You try and try again because life is about trying and trying again even when it’s hard, and it’s going to be hard a lot. I couldn’t do any of that because I didn’t think this was something that was worth trying. I couldn’t get over my attitude about skating long enough to be present in this teachable moment.
So how do you teach something you think is stupid? For me it’s not just skating, there is also this love of animals that my kids and Beautiful have that I just don’t have. It’s not like I want to hurt animals I just don’t want to take care of them. The whole being bit 7 times may have something to do with that I admit but how do I teach my kids to be caring and nurturing and responsible for some animal when I think it’s a waste of time. Finding those connecting moments where you share what you love with your kids is all sweet and roses but there is also going to be a whole lot of stuff that you don’t love and you’re going to need to share in that just as much. I want to be better at that but today I was not. Today I was cranky and dismissive and we left early. Tomorrow I will be better.