You will find us peeing from such great heights

Such great hights

Such great heights

When you’re working from home in the summer the playdate becomes key to maintaining some sanity for the boys and I. When there is another kid there to engage them I have time to work on what I need to and they get a new perspective on tired playthings. After a fantastic time at Tumbling Camp E (the kid formally known as “The Charge”) came over to play. After going through the usual suspects: cars, cards, forts, and bikes the boys told me they were bored. Bored? How could you be bored when there is so many cool things you can do like fix the washing machine, or pull the weeds, or build a dirt track for bikes, or get the cement out of the secret weed room, climb up on the roof and pee over the crown of the house. There were other nonsensical things said to encourage the kids to think creatively but when they heard ROOF CLIMB PEE everything else became white noise. “Daddy can we?” Can you what? “Can we pee off the roof?”

Now here is where a good parent would explain that they were giving examples to get them to think outside the house. But we all know I am not a “good” parent. Instead I said the following:

Listen boys, if you can get the 10 foot ladder off the side of the garage, over the wood pile, and somehow put it up to the house and climb up than by all means pee off the roof. Good luck with that!

My thought being it was an impossible scenario that would keep them busy for a good amount of time. Since there is a picture attached to this post I’m sure you see where this is going. The ladder was already up against the back of the garage from the night before when Beautiful climbed up there to steal flowers from our neighbors tree. Not all our kids mischievous traits come from me!  After about 15 minutes my sister-in-law came in to ask if I told the boys they could pee off the roof. Well technically I did but there is no way they can get up there so …… I went outside to find one kid peeing into the neighbor’s yard, another on his way up to cross streams and a third kid talking himself into the adventure. They all had a chance to rain down from above before I helped them down and put the ladder up in its PROPER PLACE!

I know the moral of this story should be something about thinking about what you say and safety and all that but knowing what I know now I wouldn’t have done anything different. The boys had an awesome dangerous adventure and I got a good story. That’s a win-win.

The one where the boys review Tillamook Yogurt

Being the powerful blogging parent that I am I get emails on the regular asking me to write about this thing or the other but every once in a while a really great one comes in. Last week one such opportunity did come when the folks at Tillamook asked if the boys would try out their yogurt and let them know what they thought. We were sent some yogurt, a few coupons, and some stickers that have now added to the aesthetic of the inside of my mini-van. While we live on Tillamook Cheddar cheese and have made a couple trips to the factory while visiting the coast we had not tried their yogurt yet. I set the boys up with a couple of spoons, some Tillamook yogurt choices, and a running camera and let them do their thing, below is their review complete with destruction of property, a fight over silly things, and the goofy witticisms we’ve come to expect and love. All and all a typical interaction.

Tillamook Yogurt from Portland Dad on Vimeo.

Long live the Coxy Pario!

The Coxy Pario

Classic 1932 Tudor with Large Living Spaces. Original Charm…Coved Ceilings, Built=Ins and Crown Moldings. Hardwoods, Coxy Wood Burning FP, Vinyl Windows, New Gas Furnace and Electrical Panel, Dechached Gargae, Two Covered Pario’s, Full Basemanent, Needs Updating!

That is the write up of our house when the listing went public. There was one picture of the front of the house and it was not good. That was it. Badly constructed ad with odd misspellings, no photos, and little to make you feel good about the place but I knew we had to take a look. My theory is that the listing agent got drunk and made a bet with a fellow realtor that the market was so good right now that he could sell this house no matter what he put on the listing. I mean even your smart phone would change the spelling of a lot of those words. You might have a “Crazy” fireplace instead of a “Coxy” fireplace. No this seemed like a bet made after one too many chardonnays.

Our offer was in less than 24 hours after the listing went public so that drunken realtor won his ill conceived bet. There were 3 offers after ours and over 20 viewing of the place that day so I think he had reason to be so cocky. Now any picture that I post of the house is tagged with a location of “The Coxy Pario”. All good homes need a good name and I can think of no better name for this place than the Coxy Pario.

Segundo versus the fire drill

Punk Rock Preschool

Punk Rock Preschool

Yesterday when I went to pick Segundo up from preschool his teacher pulled me aside to tell me a story. They had a fire drill that day but when it started Segundo was busy on the toilette. Since he likes his freedom while sitting on the throne he as sans pants and chonies. Just a t-shirt and socks and singing songs while the bell went off. Fast forward to the kids lined up outside and Segundo’s teacher came up because it looked like he needed a little help. He was holding his pants up as she came over to help him button up but she noticed he needed to pull up his chonies. Problem was he didn’t have them, he got right out of the building like he was taught to and didn’t have time to load the boys back up. He just grabbed his pants and hopped out of the classroom. When they got back in she went to help him get dressed but ran into another problem, he hadn’t wiped. She was fighting back laughter as she told him to wipe, wash his hands, put on his underwear, put his pants back on, and come out so she could help button up. The great take away here is that he knows what to do in an emergency situation, but we may need to work on his bathroom routine a little more.

Pearls of Wisdom from Segundo

The other morning while we were all getting ready for our days Segundo came into our room and asked Beautiful “Mommy are you going to put on your boobie trap?” Of course he was talking about her bra and I will only call it a boobie trap from here on out. it was brilliant. He had heard the term before and had no idea what it meant so he worked out a meaning from the information he had. Brilliant I tell you!

Scaring their food to death

I don’t know why but it seems my boys are angry eaters. At least they are when ever there’s a camera around and since I’m such a social media parent that is far too often for their own health. The picture above is exhibit A, taken when I asked Primo if I could have a bite of his Pad Thai after a great Memorial Day in Portland.

Exhibit B is Segundo going after a slice on Primo’s birthday. Notice his perfect form in handling a New york style piece of pizza. If it’s too hot for his hand he tries to immediately put it into his mouth to cool his hands down but we all know how that ends. Not sure were these emotions come from but this aggression won’t stand man.