Tag Archives: link

Gardening Fail: I think it’s the dirt

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After reading this great post by Bob at Juicy Matters I think I might know why all but the beans in my garden have died. His post talks about the difference between Soil and Dirt and though I thought I had a good start with some compost and dirt mixed together I’m beginning to realize that I didn’t do enough of the ground work to get my raised beds going. So more work needs to be done to turn that dirt into soil and our composting is a good start. There are still other ingredients like manure that would go a long way to enriching the garden. Having parents in the country means I know a guy, or at least my dad does, so I will try to get some this weekend.

Meanwhile we have started some plants again: carrots, beets, chard, tomatos, zucchini, and cucumbers. Hopefully learning from my early failures and building on this slowly acquired knowledge to good harvest. These are all teachable moments with the boys as we talk about trying and failing and trying again. We learn by experimenting and not giving up and Primo and I have had some good talks about why our garden isn’t growing and what we need to do to fix it. He’s committed too and that helps keep me on task.

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Communication is more than just listening well

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I was reading this funny post over at The Hubby Diaries where the writer was pointing out just how much her husband tunes her out unless she uses the words food, or sex. I know this is an accurate look at most men in relationships but why is that? I feel like my wife and I have come a long way in learning how to communicate with each other and it has more to do with just listening to her.

My wife is an external processer so when she is trying to work something out she talks about it, a lot. I’m much more of an internal processer, coming to a resolution on something internally before saying anything. When she starts to say what it is that is bothering her, or what she is thinking about I respond right away to those first few things she says and they really aren’t the issue. She needs to start talking to get to the heart of the issue, while I need space to come to it on my own. Learning how to communicate for us meant allowing the other the space they needed without stepping on it, and for me that was talking more, and her talking less.

I had to learn to talk to my wife without trying to resolve everything that she said, or respond to her every word. Communication meant really listening to her as she started to work out her thoughts and asking relevant questions to try and zero in on the crux of the issue. My wife had to learn to not ask as many questions and to give me space to talk without finishing my sentences or peppering me with too many questions. It is a dance, like so many other aspects of relationships and we each have different steps to teach. So much of learning to communicate is learning to be less selfish and more open to other and I think we have a long way to go but we are both really trying.

Too many times this picture of the husband tuning out the wife is the comedic norm. Wether it is the selfish husband who is too selfish to learn the steps, or the nagging wife that uses words like a blunt instrument there is room for growth on both sides. Men need to be better about really listening to their partners and responding. That is communication, not just listening but adding to the conversation.

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10 thing Blogging has taught me

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I was dorking around online the other night and came across this post by a blogger who had a list of things they learned from blogging and I thought I would steal, er I mean, imitate that idea. So here is a list, in no particular order, of what I have learned from blogging:

  • There are stories to be told from the every day mundane. Writing about what the boys and I are going through has lead to me finding the story each day. It has made me more intentional.
  • I am not  very good writer, but I am a good blogger.
  • There is a huge community where ever your interest lies. This was not exactly surprising but it has been great to connect with so many great dads online that are trying to be better parents and challenging each other to do the same.
  • Inspiration is a fickle mistress. There are times when blog post spill out like milk from a full carton and times when the carton seems empty.
  • Using pictures in post makes the post more interesting.
  • Sitting down to write about a thought helps clarify the thought into something I can share. The act of writing turns the ambiguous into something true.
  • There are much better writers out there, better looking blogs with better ideas, but that is OK. Participation is more important than winning.
  • I pay too much attention to comments and stats. As much as I am OK with not being the best I still want to know that people are reading and that they are engaged by the content. Narcissism?
  • My kids are funny. The act of writing about them has shown me just how funny they are.
  • I am a good parent.

That is my list, what has blogging taught you?

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